American Lit

My American Lit class is basically the Breakfast Club.

We've got the cheerleader, the nerd, the goth girl, the trendieindies, the wild children, the music nerds...

:)

baugh

i get so discouraged.
all i want to do is live beautifully.
all i want to do is make people wonder.





but i'm in school so not right now.

Glory

So today in session we talked about John Donne. Dirty, dirty Donne. He was quite the desperate boy and the witty lover. He had all sorts of reasons to tell his ladies that they should sleep with him. 1. Sex is no big thang. Let's just do it. (The Flea) 2. Sex is like heaven. Let's do it. (To His Mistress Going to Bed) and 3. We are already united spiritually, so why not do it? (The Ecstasy)

There is particular danger with number 3 because Donne seems to align himself with the gnostic fallacy that the soul is better than the body; that the soul is more spiritual than the body. Plato also aligns himself with this fallacy. Augustine and Dante do not, however, oh thank heaven. The body is a good good good good good spiritual thing. It is not "the bad flesh." The body allows for expression. Christ also came in a body, and our bodies are eternal. The Bible does not back up our ideas that salvation is merely of the soul. Jesus always healed or fed before the gospel.
This makes me think lots of things. First of all, if Donne knew his body was a spiritual being, he probably would not have become spiritually united with so many girlies. Second of all, I just wrote 2 8 page papers on this. Yeah,I guess I'm thinking about the right things. Third, where does the line between spiritual and physical lie? Can you be spiritually involved with someone and not physically involved with them?

On that note, we also talked about boy/girl relationships. Can an unmarried couple who maintains physical and emotional boundaries go too far spiritually? I say yes! Spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy are all connected and if one gets too far ahead, say, too much one-on-one prayer time, then the others try to catch up. This is why it is completely fine to not want to have a couple's study or weekly prayer times. Seek God individually. Grow individually.

This discussion also makes me think of why I eat Trader Joe's food and why I love to cook and why I drink lots of water. Take care of your body, take care of your soul. They sort of take care of each other.

In conclusion, Donne was a heretic, my life makes more sense now, don't pray with your boyfriend, and shop at Trader Joe's.

P.S. part two: art and the physical realm is next!

I'm So Sorry

But my religious internet won't let me go on tumblr.

So all my raggedy, god-awful spewings go here for now.

I keep thinking

maybe inspiration will come at 5

maybe at 9

maybe at 10 30

it never does.

Writing is just sitting down and doing it.

Just like almost everything else in life, right?

Except for love.

And cooking.

I've got a terribly dry throat and about 12 other things I could find to complain about, but I won't.

I started writing in a little red notebook the other day. It has been the best thing. I need to learn how to document really bad things. I can do average, good, and very good. Mediocre, true, and abstract. I cannot do sweet, I cannot do bad.

Hm.

Grammy

She noticed the colours of the floor and liked the lampshade.

I notice the colours of the floor and I like the lampshade.

Too Much Middle Grey

work on:

being truly happy

work on:

letting go

work on:

being calm

work on:

having enthusiasm

work on:

loving fully

work on:

immersion

work on:

keeping track

work on:

pushing edges

work on:

being blunt

work on:

encouraging.

September, 1918

This afternoon was the colour of water falling through sunlight;

The trees glittered with the tumbling of leaves;

The sidewalks shone like alleys of dropped maple leaves,

And the houses ran along them laughing out of square, open windows.

Under a tree in the park,

Two little boys, lying flat on their faces,

Were carefully gathering red berries

To put in a pasteboard box.

Some day there will be no war,

Then I shall take out this afternoon

And turn it in my fingers,

And remark the sweet taste of it upon my palate,

And note the crisp variety of its flights of leaves.

To-day I can only gather it

And put it into my lunch-box,

For I have time for nothing

But the endeavour to balance myself

Upon a broken world.

Amy Lowell, feminist extraordinaire.

Lovely

I'm writing a paper called The Art of Speaking Plainly and I am just tickled by it.

Go read Henry James and Theodore Dreiser.

There's Something About

I very much like Wallace Stevens. I also very much like being slightly sunburnt.

I forget how to balance motivation and discipline. Sometimes I have both and that's awesome, but sometimes I only have discipline and its TERRIBLE.

I feel like I'm dragging myself through the mud.

And my room is very messy.

So I should do my homework, right? I should not spend an hour at Trader Joe's and a half of an hour cleaning the fridge and putting things away and another hour making muffins and a half of an hour doing dishes after that, right?

Baugh.

Life gets me sometimes.

On Life

Some things only work if you are actually pretty.

Some things only work if you actually speak well.

Some things only work if you really speak your mind.

Some things only work if you are fifteen.

Some things will never work for me.

By Moonlight

You know your day is going nowhere fast when...

• the morning is already 75 degrees at 10 o'clock (go find your bathing suit!)
• you're reading two of your favourite books before you even get out of bed
• there are fresh shrooms in your fridge just waiting to be sauteed
• all you want for breakfast is chocolate sorbet and lemonade
• the thought of exercising for an hour sounds enjoyable
• your hair is sticking straight out of your head in an effort to convince you not to leave the house
• love poem sounds more like a way of life or a food group than a frilly confection
• you feel lucky to simply be living and want to marinate in that feeling for a while
• that book on relationships you've wanted to write finally has a theme
• the most exciting reason to leave the house that you've found so far is to go get paint to make that cubist painting for American Literature
• an adventure in salad dressing sounds a bit like summer and a bit like a romance novel

I hope someone else is having a day like this because I can almost taste heaven.

Who

Who is this new woman!?

I walked/ellipticalled/cycled 2 miles last night. and two nights before that.

I'm reading a self-help book.

I scraped a ceiling for the majority of today.

I went to the spa yesterday.

I am driving to a far and distant land (aka 90210!) tomorrow.

There is beauty, there is wholeness.

"The relationship's rubble"

she said.

"The building has collapsed"

she said.

A bit

A bit of literature. Books I'm currently working with, reading, or books I plan on reading over my fast approaching spring break. (spring!)

The Art of Looking Sideways

Art and various inspiring thoughts geared toward a creative audience.

Collected Poems of T.S. Eliot

I'm writing a paper for my literature class and using this work for a reference.

John Donne: The Complete English Poems

John Donne is a piece of work! His poetry is impeccable, though.

Norton Anthology of American Literature 1914-1945

I enjoy literature from this period the most.

Homemade Life

This woman has a great blog and a restaurant and likes polaroids. Right up my alley.

The Happiness Project

Just look at the title.

Art and Feminism

Currently two of my favourite things.

Hamlet

Complex and thought-provoking and traditional English lit. How nice.

The Brothers Karamozov

I am of the Tolstoy camp. I do not enjoy this book.

Hopefully, I will be able to say I've finished these sometime soon.

I'll be coming for your love, okay.

There have been a few really gorgeous days in a row here.

Its so good for my soul. I love the weather. If i talk about the weather with you it does not mean I'm making small talk. It means I want you to know how much I like the weather.

Spring might be my favourite time of year. It makes me feel like new love and sundresses. The seashore and grass. Kids and books. All of the best things that are not wintry things.

I'm not sure I want to grow up to be a writer any more.

Edward Weston

Oh, Also

Reflections or On Knowing Thyself

Basically, I don't want to be pretentious. I make a point to like what I like and dislike what I dislike and be real about it.

I like to write because I'm sort of good at it. I like the way words flow out like endless rain into a paper cup and how I can make you laugh or draw you in to the drama with a mere sentence.

I like to take photographs because I like to freeze and manipulate beauty and make it my own. I also just like to have something out of the ordinary in my life, even if I'm not "the bestest". (name that tune!)

I like to read books because they make me smarter than you. Plain and simple. I like finding the relationships between things that matter and sometimes things that don't matter. Its beautiful.

I like to cook because I am an epicurean glutton.

I like cigars because I like winkles.

I want to have lived a full life, but I also want to have lived a balanced life.

I want people to see what I've done and be provoked to wonder.

I want people to see what I've done and be provoked to wander.

And somehow it will all come out in the wash.

Natalie

i woke up with that one rocket summer song in my brain

the one about beautiful dayz

jus sayin'

Taylor

cuuz yoouuuuuuuuu dont know

how much i

i neeed you pleeeeeaaaeeeeese dont goaoooooo'

yur soaoooo wunderful

this i swaywer.

swayer*

this i knowowowooooo

To The Mat!

I'm gonna call this right now.

I idolize my homework.

How unhealthy and L A M E is that?

It overwhelms me and gives me power so I let it control me by procrastinating myself out of all kinds of goodness.

Gonna go crank out some papers and some notes so maybe the monster will be a little more defeated today.

Missed

OKAY SO I MISSED A DAY.

So what?

I went out to breakfast this morning. That's my favourite thing ever to do. AND I finished a book today. AND I worked in the darkroom for 6 hours yesterday. Yeah, yeah. I enjoy life a lot.

Today is pretty. I am going to exercise and drink tea.

Things that Beat All (in terms of making life more wonderful):

-profs who like my work

-slow time that's still productive

-not doing homework when I should and still being somewhat ahead

-staying up a little too late and still getting enough sleep and waking up feeling like a daisy!

-comedies

-free money

P.S. Don't try so hard. Relax.