And I Ask Myself

I find myself asking, over and over and over again, "Why am I not doing amazing things with my life?" I want to do so many things, but it is so hard for me to not get discouraged over a Geology test. There's some sort of dichotomy between "amazing things" and school and everyday life. I want to intern everywhere. I want to learn to be so many things, and I want to do it all in order to help people. However, I can't even get my homework done in a reasonable amount of time with a relatively good attitude. I wish I could drop everything I am now and switch into "amazing life" where I volunteer places, and feed people, and love people, and council people, and teach people, and love people. I wish I did not have to work so that I can have money so that I can have and do things and be prepared. I wish I did not have to work so that I can keep up with the system; I wish I did not have to work so I can prove my worth as a woman. But that is how I feel. I feel like I have to trade this for that and that for this. "Amazing things" and "amazing life" is running quickly away from me and it seems like I will never catch it. I know the kind of life I want comes with experience, but I want it now. I don't know what to do with myself in the mean time. 

Any ideas?